RANTS

9/7/24: uh okay so im like super new to this and i honestly dont know what im doing.. im pretty sure i ae this the wong kinda uh website thingy but thats okay lololol... im gonna like figure it out a i go i js kinda hope i dont give up on it so soon.. thats kinda a habit of mine lololollll. ill figure it our soon enough.

ACK YAY I GOT ITTTTTT WOWOWOWOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i need to learn how to change the color of my uh website lol.. can i use like emojis on this?

oh my god im like crazy cool........

jesus ive like actually done so much of this in one day.. im guite impressed w myself

omg OMGGGGG i figured out how to change the bg colorrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so exiteddddd (thank you brother)

9/8/24:uh so i didnt do much on the website today but thats alr. today me and jeane were gonna hangout so my stepdad gave me my grandpas old computer! its a little slow but its pretty nice to just have one so its okay. its also not even the worst ive seen so whatever lololololll.. me and jeane didnt end up hanging out but thats cool. we can hang out like any other time and im js kinda happy to be hanging out w ppl again. i dont rlly leave my house..........

9/9/24: bruh i wanna go home.. i hate this fucking school. i dont even need this shit. i taught myself goddamn (basic) coding in like less than 2 days. like bruh anything you can teach me here i can do it myself.... also the ppl here fucking such ass...... like bruh no i dont wanna hear the loud ass speaker you brought from home so you can play it loud as hell in the halways. ALSO FOR WHAT? why do you even need that... js get headphones or earbuds bruh.. and he had them last year. istg i hate everyone at this god forsaken high school......

5/29/25: erm so happy new year and all lol... so im back fussing with this website AND I NEED TO LEARN BORDERS AND STUFFFFFF~ they just look so clean and nice and partion of things so wellllll. ill work on that lol alsoo i feel like i need to start highlighting the text r smth, witht the new bgs you can really see the text T-T.. i feel like ive grown a little like i know more about coding now even if im not any better: like it makes way more sense nowwww!!!!

8/23/25: monday is the first day of school and i want to die. i hate school.theyre banning phones and headphones so thsts nice... they fucked up all my classes and gave me choir again (wtf) EVEN THO I ASKED THEM NOT TO AND AND AND MY FUCKING PASSWORD TO MY GMAIL HAS BEEN RANDOMLY CHANGED BY IDEFK SO I CANT EMAIL THEM ABOUT ITTTTTTTTTT. if i have to go to choir on monday oh my god. ILL FUCKING KILL MYSELF ANF THEN MY STUPID FUCKINH COUNSOLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also this summer sucked. it felt way to fast and i was forced on two vacations that both sucked so bad i wish i had just stayed home. i want to die.

its crazy how i yearn for times when i was even unhappier

8/24/25: TOMORROWS RHE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL IM ACTUALLY GONNA KMS THIS IS NOT A JOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKCCKCKCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! in better news,, i have a big fat crush but its probably a bad idea... he kinda fucked up but its online so idk.. im also not tht into online dating but heres what im thinking, i dont plan to date him forever yk??? that sounds rlly bad but idc. anyways i rlly like himmmmm, hes very cuteee, and funnyyyyy!! ANYWAYS RN IM THINKING ABOUT HOW I RLLY WANNA TALK TO HIM BUT IDK WHAT TO SAY SO IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING eek. um i also added more songs to my mp3 player so maybe i can listen to music at lunch or smth cus i think maybe ill actually kms with a full school day with zero music...... ALSO THE FUCKING COUNSELORS CANT DO THEIR FUCKING JOB I GUESS??????? so i have to go in tomorrow cus they fkn gave me choir even though im quitting. i did five years of choir and now i quit T-T.... ill miss judah, i pray he does both the play nd musical but i know deep down hes just gonna do the musical. I HOPE HE AT LEAST DOES THAT!!!!!!!!! its his senior year too IM GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(real thing that happened bellow!!!!)

J: so your quitting choir... wait how long have you been in choir?

E:uhhh i started in fith grade and then skipped sixth, because of covid, then did it every year since then, so five years?

J:.... uh actually your not. your not quitting choir.

(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him)

9/11/25: im rlly bored in class so now im writing an update loll.. ok so CHARLIE KIRK WAS SHOT DEAD ON A CAMPUS IN UTAH!!!!!! theres a lot of differing opinions so ill list them here


personally i dont rlly give a shit, he was an awful person and had awful ideals, pro life, pro guns, ANTI-EMPATHY?????? mf how can you be anti empathy and then when you die,,,, all ur fans are upset that u dont gaf.....honestly i can understand every opion, its not nice that he died, but the hateful message he sent has honestly killed some women due to not being able to get an abortion or other care. i have no compassion for someone like him so honestly to bad so sad...
and just to list some awful things about him...

said if his daughter was raped he would make her cary the baby full term, he said he doesnt mind if kids are killed due to gun violence as long as we can uphold the second amendment (total bullshit), anti empathy, which i alr said but idc HOW ARE YOU ANTI EMPATHY????????? ITS NOT EVEN A MOVEMENT OR ANYTHING its like a feeling or understanding of someone.

i also think way to many ppl are pressed about this, in a server im in they said no charlie kirk jokes would be tolerated.. SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO JOKE ABOUT RN THEN???? ALSO NO 9/11 JOKES LIKE WHATTTTTTTTTTT!?!? bruh i wasnt even gonna but now i kinda want to... everyone in that server is kinda meh anyways. idk if its cus im not pinging but they never respond to me brah..

9/12/25: okay so apparently our school actually has a FREAKING SUPER SENIOR LMAAAOOOOOOO!!!! but hes like a masive weirdo, ppl said they were scared for him to know their name bc he will just say it randomly and not stop T-T.. ALSO ALSO someone said they saw him PRESSED AGAINST A WINDOW ON THE 2ND FLOOR, WATCHING THE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS PLAY OUTSIDE AT LUNCH. bro that is super villan shit no freaking way..

9/13/25: i seriously am just a punching bag huh? yesterday chantal was kinda just tearing into me, and i know i play into being stupid a lot but idkit just hurts. and everytime i try to speak up it sounds like a joke or smth to them and they just continue.. honestly i really hate them. also i really think im wayto weird for all these mf at school...like they alr call me weird and look at me strange when i talk about the stuff i rlly wanna but ive been toning it down. we have a car playlist and i they alr dont like the shit that i put on the playlist (ALL SONG I *THOUGHT* THEY WOULD LIKE) so why the hell would they like the stuff im actually into. i knew school was gonna suck but the two first weeks were fun so i thought maybe this year would actually be nice but i alr feel like shit again. same feeling as last year, i rlly just want to stop talking to them all. ormaybe ill just kms idek anymore. fuck ferndale and every shit stain asshole in that god forsaken school. im saying this but ill probably go to school on monday like nothings wrong. i wonder if i just stayed quiet, if they would notice.

9/16/25: IM GONNA KMS I KEEP LOOKING AAT PPL IN THE HALLWAY AND THEN THEY LOOK AT ME BACK AND WE MAKE EYE CONTACT....BUT ITS THE SAME.FUCKING.PEOPLE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> im gonna die. im actually gonna die this time. maybe ill just swallow a whole bottle of benadryl. id rather a heart attack than making eye contact w ppl again. 9/17/15: im not going to homecoming this year bc i rlly js dont want to but like i know im gonna regret it..i mean ive alr gone twice... and im giving up on judah so it doesnt matter if hes there this time. bro anna likes judah and she doesnt know that i do (but im working on it) and so she was just talking abt himlike'oh yeahidkifilikehimmmmmmm...' as she procedes to talk abt him for like 10 mins. i knew he wasnt into me nd never probably would be soit doesnt even matter.im actually this fkn close to becoming an incel i lowkey dont care if im dating someone online. i had kinda a mental breakdown the other day and i spoke to jimbo abt it and he helped me and stuff. AND THEN HE ASKED IF IVE EVER DATED AND I WAS LIKE NO FKN SHOT URR GONNA ASK ME OUT NOw. pity had launch