uh tw kind of a vent

I hate being compared to people so much. fuck you I'm not like my mom I don't look like her. I genuinely cannot see myself in her. I hate her so much. my grandma walks in and o haven't even seen her face and she hugs me from behind and I'm just like visably uncomfortable and she's just like idc... Evan doesn't like being touched? ik I just don't care. DIE DIE DIE. DONT TALK ABOUT ME I HATE YOU.

10/7/25

its gotten to a point where i contemplate scuicide every day. everything would just be so much easier if i didnt exizt. i hate everyone, family, (school) friends. school sucks. i have no goals and im actually dreading work bc like i cant handle school so how am i supposed to be ok when i get a job. i just wish i never had to speak to anyone ever. i just cant fucking handle school but whenever i try to explain it people call me lazy and a bum. if i never had to go back i wouldnt. i have a really hard time beliving they would actually miss me and when i would eventually come back theyd just be like oh look whos back. i just want them to understand im actually struggling not just being lazy. im not not writing my memoir just because i dont want to I DONT FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING THE MEMOIR IS GONNA BE ABOUT HOW I HATE DOGS!!!!!!!! thats so lame....

10/9/25

hashtag trying not to think about brutaly killing myself!!!!!!!!!!

10/12/25

i want to talk to someone because ive been cutting but not like i want to talk to someone to get help i just want to talk to someone about it. i would talk to jimbo but its awkward and he just said he relapsed so idk if hes feeling good. probably not. i just want to cut more. i alr did it today but like it wasnt good enough.